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Dan Slagle 00:00

Like,it's really fascinating to me, right? Like, the it's like a generationalchange, at least from my perspective of like us to our parents. Money maybewasn't talked about a lot, and now it's like kids who are six and seven arelike hanging out in our meeting, like seeing mom and dad talk to financialplanners and just normalizing it. So set up a family meeting. I think thatwould be a great place to

Natalie Slagle 00:28

start.You have to be mindful of where your expertise starts and stops again. I don'tthink this meeting is to give advice. I think this meeting is to say, Hey, Ithink it's really important that that we plan for the future and that we abideby your wishes, Mom and Dad.

Natalie Slagle 00:53

Welcometo money dates, the podcast that makes money conversations with your partnerfeel a little less taboo. I'm Natalie cycle, a certified financial planner, andI'm joined by my husband and business partner, Dan Slagle, also a CertifiedFinancial Planner. Say Hi, Dan, hello. In each episode, we'll share honeststories and practical tips to help you and your partner feel more connected andconfident on your financial journey. So grab your drink, get comfortable andjoin us for our money dates. Hello, Daniel.

Dan Slagle 01:25

Hi,Natalie, how are you

Natalie Slagle 01:30

good? Inever call you Daniel. I don't

Dan Slagle 01:32

thinkyou've ever called me Daniel in my life. I don't think anyone's ever called meDaniel, actually. Oh,

Natalie Slagle 01:38

lastnight, we were having maybe kind of a harder conversation. And I called youDan, and I, like, felt the intensity in that moment. Do you remember that?

Dan Slagle 01:48

Yeah,when you call me by my first name, I'm like, Oh, it's getting real, real fast.I was like, oh, okay, it's a hard conversation. What was the conversation?

Natalie Slagle 01:59

It wasabout when our daughter wakes up in the middle of the night, because she hasbeen I wanted you to go in first, because lately, I've been going in first. SoI was asking you to Yeah. And naturally, sometimes these conversations get alittle heated, and I can't remember what I did, but I think I was trying torecenter us, and so I or I was just trying to get a point across, and I waslike, Dan, I'm not trying to make this bigger than it needs to be.

Dan Slagle 02:29

Yeah,and by saying my name, you made it bigger than it needed to. I made it to befair. I think if we have that conversation again about who's going in first inthe middle of the night, like we probably shouldn't do it when you and I areabout to go to bed, like I feel like we should have that conversation maybe inlike the afternoon,

Natalie Slagle 02:50

yeah,right, like the day is done, we're finally in a place to relax. But we hadn'thad that conversation, and it was important to me, because if we didn't, then Iwas going to be the one to get up. And I was like, Okay, it's it's your turn.And you were like, yep. And then you got up and you went to her in the middleof the night, and I wasn't needed at all. And so thank you. I

Dan Slagle 03:10

appreciatethat. Yeah, for sure, it's always a good day when you wake up and know that youwere the baby.

Natalie Slagle 03:16

Whisperyou were the baby last night. Yeah, yeah, you were pretty proud of that, andI'm, I'm proud of you as well. Speaking of family and family dynamics, today wehave a really good episode, because we've had some really good conversationsabout this with our clients, and we've actually helped some of our clients,parents with money. So today, what we're talking about is just how to handleour parents financial situation,

Dan Slagle 03:49

yeah,and, like, help them navigate their finances, right? Yeah, that's, that's a bigtalking piece of today,

Natalie Slagle 03:55

right,right? So I wanted to start off giving just like a fun stat, because I feellike now we're starting to incorporate some stats

Dan Slagle 04:04

intothese. You're going to be the stat person this podcast.

Natalie Slagle 04:08

I'm thestat girl today. So this is a huge conversation in our industry, in thefinancial planning world, this is a huge conversation about the great wealthtransfer. I remember when we launched our firm six years ago. This was in like,our business plan, like, hey, there's going to be all this money coming fromthe silent generation, the boomers. They're going to be passing away, andthey're going to be transferring their wealth to the Gen Xers millennials, andthen maybe there's some leftovers for the Gen Z ers out there. But this createsa really important discussion. So the numbers, according to this consultingfirm, is that $124 trillion in assets are set to change hands, I think betweennow and 2040 824 trillion. Wow.

Dan Slagle 05:00

Wow,wow. Yeah, I feel like that number fluctuates a lot, like depending on thestudy. But either way, we're talking about, like, trillions and

Natalie Slagle 05:07

trillions,trillions, trillions, most of that. So a little over 106 trillion is goingdirectly to another individual, right? And then the rest will go to charity,which I think is pretty great. Almost $20 trillion is going to be going tocharity over the next 20 some years. So that's that's really great. All aboutthat. What that means, though, for the clients that we serve, the gen xers andmillennials out there, is there's potentially money coming your way, right, andbefore it even hits you or comes to you, you inherit it, or whatever it may be.There are so many steps that can happen that will allow that transfer that isinevitably going to take place to go quite smoothly, or the opposite willhappen. And so I wanted to make sure that we have a conversation about that,about, like, how do we help our parents with this transition in a way that'snot like, this is going to be my money. Give it to me, you know? Like, I'mtrying to avoid that. I'm just trying to, like, make sure the family, and whenI'm saying family, I'm talking to generations at play here make this transferand this transition go smoothly, and it's something that everyone feels reallyproud about, that they set up. Dan, like, what thoughts are coming up for youas I start to talk about this?

Dan Slagle 06:35

Thefirst thought is you and I come from, like, traditional, I feel like Midwesternhouseholds where money's not talked about. So I think that's that's just like abarrier in itself that we've had to work with and overcome, like within our ownfamilies, right? And so having that conversation is really important. I thinkthere's a lot of professional help out there to help facilitate thoseconversations. If you're maybe a child, and you have older parents or adultchild, I should say, and have older parents who maybe are in their later yearsof life, like it, I think it's really important to have conversations aboutwhere assets intend to go and and you know how you want things, or how the theolder generation really wants things structured or handled when they they passaway. I think it's, it's a huge missing piece of this whole dynamic of the thegreat wealth transfer, right? Like you see headlines like, go on a CNBC, yousee headlines all the time about the great wealth transfer, but it's like, whatdoes this actually mean for me, as personally as a millennial, as you you as amillennial, like, how do you better prepare yourself for that event and setyourself up for success and set your family up for success at the end of theday?

Natalie Slagle 07:52

Right?Yeah, I I want to provide listeners some ways to have the conversation. And Ithink there's so many ways you can have a conversation, you know, and doing itwith empathy, and you're not trying to give advice, you're just trying to,like, create the space to have the conversation, right? And so I was lookingat, you know, in preparation for this podcast, I was looking up ways on, like,how do you bridge this conversation? And when you look it up, you know, it's,all these, like, beautiful questions that are asked, and I think because I'vebeen having these conversations a lot, like with my dad and my stepmom, and Iwasn't as empathetic as, like all of the podcasts say to or not the podcast,but just like the post, I wasn't as empathetic, because that's not really likemy style with them. It was much more pointed to the fact, and it was just kindof like, if you don't do this, it's going to fall on my lap. As the kind offinancial professional out of the three kids, it's going to fall on my lap. Andthis is going to be a huge headache for me, and your wishes will not play outhow you want. And so in order for you to avoid this, I need you to go and doXYZ. I was very like pointed and direct with them, because that's how I that'show I communicate with them. But I the point why I'm saying all this is you canGoogle, you know, how do I have these conversations? And that's helpful. But Ithink just like, do it in a way that feels natural and in a way that yourparents are aren't going to be like, Who are you like this? Isn't you to ask itlike this? And so even just having the conversation is so much further aheadthan than most people and your parents, if the conversation hasn't been startedby them yet at this point, they're going to be appreciative that you'rebringing it up.

Dan Slagle 09:42

Yeah,and I think it's important, because in our seats and in our profession, we'veseen the outcome of these conversations don't happen, right? So I think yes,we're better prepared to one have the conversation. But then also, you almostlike the example you gave with your dad and stepmom. It's almost like a feartactic. And. Them,

Natalie Slagle 10:01

they do.I do not recommend to listeners, yeah, just what I did.

Dan Slagle 10:04

Don't,don't do that, don't, don't do that. Maybe I don't know. It depends on whatworks.

Natalie Slagle 10:08

But youknow, it did work because now now they have their estate plan. But anyways,

Dan Slagle 10:13

yeah,yeah. So yeah, I think just finding ways to have the conversation, it can betricky, though, it can be really hard to bridge that gap.

Natalie Slagle 10:21

Yeah,can we share more about kind of our personal experiences? Because, Dan, you've,you've dealt with this in a very different manner than than what I have, and inthe fact of you helping a parent after your mom passed away. So I'd love tohave you kind of share about that experience. I

Dan Slagle 10:42

mean, torecommend we do audio only, in case I get teary eyed, but more likely youmight, yeah, happy to share my experience for sure, because I think it's it canbe really helpful when going through an event that I did. And you know, we'vealready seen clients take away some of the follow up items from it. So abouttwo years ago, almost to the day, my mom passed away unexpectedly, and I justrecall, like, one of the last things she said to me when she was on herhospital bed about to get wheeled into surgery, she like, grabbed me by myright cheek, and she was like, make sure you take care of your dad. And whenshe said that, she meant, like, probably, in general, I don't my dad's hereright now, we're taking care of him. But like, I really think she meant thatfrom a financial standpoint. So she also followed up by saying, like, she gaveme information on, like, where account information. Literally kept a notebookin our attic, in my childhood home, in our attic, and it was like line item byline item, income that was coming in for them and expenses, like monthly billsand like where things were being paid

Natalie Slagle 11:55

from. Itwas your mom and dad's financial plan in a notebook. They're

Dan Slagle 11:59

like DIYfinancial plan that she pointed me to in the attic, like, which is also in abox, and like, I would have found it eventually as we were going throughthings, but I would have had no idea. And so when we, when I, after she passed,like, we gave it like a week, right? And even that might be too early for somepeople, but the first recommendation I have is, like, your grieving process,like, is so volatile. Just make sure, like, when you're ready, just take actionon it, otherwise things might just get prolonged from like, a facilitationstandpoint. So she gave me, she pointed me to this notebook. About a week aftershe passed away, I went up in the attic and I tried to find it, and I found it,and it allowed me to, like, really understand what was going on from a, like, acash flow perspective, for for the two of them, because, you know, there's thatthe adage, if, like, there's one financial spouse, there's one financialpartner, maybe the non financial partner, we try to bridge that gap, right, andeliminate that whole ideal. That's like, why we started our business. But Ithink in our parents generation, it's it's likely more common. It was common inmy own household. So I I had to help my dad navigate all these changes, becausemy mom was really kind of in the know of what was going on. My My dad knew whatwas going on, but in terms of maybe, like, accessing accounts, right? Like hewas not as involved. So take a step back once we got that notebook. And Ishould also mention, I wrote a blog about this on helping a parent navigatefinances after a loss, and we'll put that in the show notes. The first thingthat we had to do, essentially, was order a death certificate, because youcan't really do anything without the death certificate, right? When you'retalking about changing account, titling, changing my mom had some she hadpension income, she had Social Security, right? Like, you need the deathcertificate to prove that she's no longer there to help, then that money go tomy dad in the proper flow. That was step one for us. And then from there, whatwe did is my parents had joint accounts at the time, so they were both listedas account holders on their bank assets. So we went to a local credit union, wescheduled an appointment, we sat down with a representative, and we retitledall of the accounts. So moved everything from joint ownership into singleownership and into my, my dad's name. And at that point, we also decided to addwhat's called payable on death, or transfer on death to the bank accounts, justin case, like when he passes away, like the assets move to the intendedbeneficiary. I also remember that visit, and this is really funny, in my mind,you had never used a ATM before,

Natalie Slagle 14:50

never.

Dan Slagle 14:52

Ishouldn't say never. I probably will say never, though, based on thisexperience, and I remember we so we got a new. Debit card. And, like, as wewere leaving the bank, we did a trial run of, like, Okay, let's go through theATM drive through. And we went through the the drive through, and I explainedhow it worked. And like, you know, I was giving him crap about, like, almosthitting the post by the ATM machine.

Natalie Slagle 15:18

I canhear this happening.

Dan Slagle 15:20

Yeah,yeah, at this age now, I I always look forward to dishing it back to him,because he was such a a critic of of my student driving days. But after we gotthe bank account set up, it was also we had to update all the beneficiaries onon his retirement account. Now, right? Because my mom was listed as theprimary, and that needed to change because she was no longer there. So webasically reordered the beneficiaries and how assets would flow if he were topass away from a retirement account standpoint. And then the I'm trying to say,Do you want me to go through the steps? Like, is that the intention of thisconversation?

Natalie Slagle 15:58

I guessthe intention is just to have a conversation about helping your parents withthese things. And so your your experience is that in you really stepped in tohelp after your mom passed away. So, you know, yeah, yeah, child insurance youhad, you know, there's so it's almost like it really depends on where are bothyour parents living? Are they married? There's all these things. And what, whatyou're making me realize is that it, it can be at any point. And the point thatyou, I don't want to say intercepted, but kind of like, came in to help out.Yeah, I'm gonna still say, like your mom and dad's finances, even though yourmom's no longer here, but like, a very important parts, because it again, goesto this great wealth transfer. If there is any money to pass to you and yourbrother, it is going to be so smooth, because of everything you're listing andtalking about right now, which goes to show, there's, there's a lot of steps,and you're not even done, right? Like, there's even more steps you did. I'mlike,

Dan Slagle 17:10

halfwaythrough, right? I'm not even, you know. And then we contacted insuranceproviders, because my mom was a state worker and had low access, or low costaccess, to health care and dental plans that we need to switch over. We neededto contact Social Security, the Social Security Administration, like, switchthe benefit amount from that my mom was getting, make sure my dad's gettingthat amount the pension income she was getting, make sure my dad's gettingthat. Luckily, they did elect, like, a joint survivor benefit. I mean, the lastthing, like, the last big thing, was the estate plan, right? And like, theydidn't have one. And you and I, mainly me, I had been trying to convince themfor the last like, 10 years to get one done. And to your point, earlier, like,it took a major event for things to click, and say, I need to get that done,right? So I think the whole point of this is having the conversation earlybefore someone passes away will set you up for better. I don't know. It'll setyou up for success. I don't wanna say better or worse, right? Like, Yeah, cuzyou're losing someone at the end of the day, but I think it, it allows you tobe better prepared. And I think it allows the person who is also like,eventually will pass away. It allows them to understand like, these are mywishes when I do pass away. But like, overall, that conversation still isreally hard to have, because no one likes talking about death

Natalie Slagle 18:38

exceptme. I like, weirdly like talking about it. That's interesting. Why do you?Well, yeah, I don't like talking about it, but, you know, like, I think it's soimportant to talk about that, I it never weirds me out to talk about it. Andso, yeah, but anyways, it's this don't have to go down that. I think what youjust have to start talking about it, because what we have both experienced withour parents is that it takes years for them to listen.

Dan Slagle 19:07

You andI have been together for like, how many years now at this point, at least 12years. Yeah, like, and this is just, this has been our profession during those12 years. And I feel like it's been a 12 year thing that we're just trying towork on with

Natalie Slagle 19:22

ourparents, right and now we can say, all of our parents, all of the people inthat role, have their things set up and it it will make our lives easier. Youknow, it has nothing to do with it'll make our lives wealthier, or notwealthier, it will just make things easier, while also giving our parents thesatisfaction that things will be will pan out how they want, because they'rethe ones inevitably creating the plan, especially, you know, if you create a.Estate plan, you sit down with an attorney. They make sure everything's done.

Dan Slagle 20:04

Can Ijust interject real quick, because you said something that I think is reallyimportant, it makes things easier. And for me, what allowed it to be easier isthat is because of the like, the grieving process is not easy, right? And we'rewhen we're literally talking about death, because that's what it is, right?That's what the great wealth transfer is. It's people dying, mainly, unlessyou're getting gifts while your parents are still alive. But it's, it's peoplepassing away and receiving assets. And so at least from my experience, what Iwould share is, once everything is buttoned up, it allows you to not focus onmaybe some of this, the minutia of the financial side, yes, and it allows youto focus on, like self help and self care, because the grieving process forlisteners who have been through it, who've lost someone close, it's just, it'sa roller coaster. It's and to have all these things going on. Like, when Iremember when my mom passed away, it was like, you're like, riding this initialhigh. Like, I don't know how to explain it, but it's weird, because you'relike, going to and maybe it's my personality, but you get in this like mode oflike, we need to do everything now, yep, and you're having the celebration oflife. You're you're seeing people you haven't seen in 15 years, and thingsyou're just on like this wave. And of like seeing people and being happy toreconnect with people, but also like grieving the loss for me, of my mom, it'sjust a constant ebb and flow of feelings. So if you can get it buttoned upearly and be better prepared, I think it allows you to set yourself up forsuccess going through those that emotional roller

Natalie Slagle 21:54

coaster,right and not have to worry about administration and paperwork while you'reyou're grieving, because, again, from because you can speak to that I both my,thank god both my parents are still living. But I can speak on, and both youand I can speak on. From the professional world of managing investments, thesecond we find out someone has passed away, we essentially lock their account.We cannot trade in that account, and we we need to wait until all the adminstuff and get the accounts into the beneficiaries and and usually in our world,we want to be so quick with that, because we want to get it into theappropriate titling, since that person's no so my point is, that like, as soonas all of these people and all these places start to find out that someonepasses away, they're knocking on your door to say, Hey, you got to do thisstuff. You got to sign this form. And if things haven't been buttoned up toyour point, Wow, that really distracts from the grieving process, and you haveto get out of the grief and kind of go into just the world of paperwork, andthat's that's upsetting. So having this conversation is so important, and justhowever you feel is best. To have this conversation is great, and I think theyou have to go into it thinking you know that you're having this conversationbecause you want to help your family, you know, and they have to be in a likeyour parents have to be in a place where they are willing and wanting toaccept, maybe not your help or advice, but just like, accept the conversation,right? And so I think first and foremost, like, just put yourself in in theseat of like, what you're about to do, what this conversation is, and it's somuch more than, Hey, Mom, do you have your will done? It's like we're talkingabout their whole working years or their livelihood put on paper. There's somany memories around money, there's so many stories, there's so many like,there's a lot of emotion in this, and so it's going to be an emotional topic.And so you got to, like, start with the empathy in that regard, rather thanurgency, because hopefully it's not urgent. Hopefully you're having thisconversation because you're just trying to be proactive, right? And so makingsure it's, it's, it's coming from empathy and not urgency, I think is, is,really, is the way to go about it,

Dan Slagle 24:37

yeah,and I think we've seen a lot of success recently, of clients having like,family meetings, right? Like older clients that we, we work with, having familymeetings with the next generation, if they have, you know, like two or threekids, adult children, making sure that everyone knows, like, where, whatintentions are, like, where things can be located. And I think just having aagain, that. Conversation in a family unit, right? Like, we have so manyclients who you know, again, client, most of our clients are in their what, early40s, late 30s, early 40s. And like, How many times do you see their kids in ourmeetings? Like, it's really fascinating to me, right? Like, the it's like agenerational change, at least from my perspective of like us to our parents,money maybe wasn't talked about a lot, and now it's like kids who are six andseven are like, hanging out in our meeting, like seeing mom and dad talk tofinancial planners and just normalizing it. So to go back to it, like, havingjust have, like, set up a family meeting. I think that would be a great placeto start,

Natalie Slagle 25:46

right?And it doesn't. You have to be mindful of where your expertise starts andstops. I don't again. I don't think this meeting is to give advice. I thinkthis meeting is to say, Hey, I think it's really important that that we planfor the future and that we abide by your wishes, Mom and Dad, we in thissetting. What I told my parents is that I feel as a child, it is myresponsibility to enact their wishes, and not just with their wealth, but justwith everything. And so in order for me to fulfill that responsibility, I needto know from them what is important, how do I reflect what's important to you,whether it's with your wealth, your celebration of life, you tell me, like, howdo I continue your legacy? And I think some of this there is, like the directquestions that should eventually be asked, Do you have a will? Do you have atrust? Who is your attorney? Where is your estate plan located? Like thosedirect questions are important. I just don't think we start there. But I thinkthe other aspects of this conversation that will inevitably come out is thelegacy. You know what? What is important for us to do, to say, to whattraditions are important that we carry on when you're no longer here? And Ithink those conversations are so beautiful and really cool that a family canhave while everyone's still there, but but getting to the direct questions onmaking sure their their financials are set up well and will be reflected towhat their requests are, is like, that's really important part of all this, yeah,so thanks for sharing your story. Dan, I do always get a little emotionalhearing you talk about it, and it goes to show like this is it's a work inprogress, and we have a unique perspective, and especially you. So I reallyappreciate you sharing that. Yeah, of course. Thanks, Natalie, thanks, Dan.

Dan Slagle 27:55

Hey,if you've enjoyed this episode and are looking for personalized financialguidance, schedule a free complimentary consultation using the link in thedescription below, Natalie and Dan Slagle are the founding partners of fusefinancial planning a registered investment advisor. The information provided inthis podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be consideredinvestment advice or a recommendation to buy or sell any securities investinginvolves risk, including the potential loss of principal. Advisory services areoffered to clients or prospective clients where fuse financial planning and itsrepresentatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. For moreinformation, including our disclosures, please visit our website@www.fusefinancial.com.